i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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