But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
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So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
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We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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