meet me or not, i'm out of control
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize