Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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