i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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