suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize