i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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