He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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