We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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