I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize