At least make sure they are 18
Why
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize