I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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