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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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