I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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