I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
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Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
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I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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