How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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