Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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