Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize