The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize