HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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