I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
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He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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