none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize