i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
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haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
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HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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