All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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