I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
pop tarts are not kleenex
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This baby is an asshole
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize