She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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