I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize