i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize