Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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