u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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