dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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