Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize