why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
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New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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