we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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