I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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