I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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