dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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