2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize