Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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