You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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