She said her name was "party"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize