and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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