i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you will always have a special place in my vag
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize