Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
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I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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