white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize