ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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