for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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