D3 body, D1 cock
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize