I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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