if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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